Internetaphobia

The Internet fascinates me. Like those really big moments in life, I actually remember when I got my first AOL account and got "online". It was so bizarre to be on this thing called the Internet and viewing things that others from around the world were sharing. Now I'm fascinated by the way my kids react to it. My 6 year old just refers to it as going to a "dot com" and thinks you can just type in anything, put .com after and you're golden. He gets it, yet he doesn't.
I'm curious, though, why there are so many adults who don't really go to online. I still feel like I'm catching up but I do use it a lot. I get e-newsletters, I read the paper online, I pay my bills and do my banking online. I do half of my shopping online (I love ebay and Amazon) and now blogging, social networking and document sharing. Even my parents are online.
So, what's your excuse for staying off the Internet?

• I have a friend who needs to know everything about a topic before she can comfortably utilize it. Can you imagine trying to know how the Internet works and everything about it? Impossible, besides, who cares?
• My Dad is head of a company yet just got his first personal laptop in the past year. Why do new things when we can do them the way we've always done them? Oh yeah, because it tends to get you what you've always gotten.
• Think you can't afford a computer? First of all, every library in the country has them and library cards are still free last I checked. And computers are pretty darn cheap last I checked. We have to get my husband a new computer (we have 2) because his bit the dust last night. It was 10 years old and our neighbor had informed us that it had the same memory capacity that an ipod does. He was still able to use the Internet and download songs. So you can buy a used for dirt cheap or in case you don't need your economic stimulus rebate to survive, you could actually use it to stimulate the economy and buy a computer.
• What about Internet access? Let me clearly state my opinion here - DSL sucks. And does dial up even exist anymore? Go for cable or fiber. It really isn't that expensive (see previous bullet - economic stimulus rebate) and you could surf all day long on 10 sites at a time. If that just isn't an option, at least get a wireless access card and go to just about any coffee shop in the universe, some restaurants, most libraries or maybe even your back yard. I have a friend who can access her neighbors network if she puts her laptop just so on her dresser.
• I just don't want to. Fine. We all know that's really just a cover-up excuse anyway.
  

So, what's your excuse?